I can’t do it………

Enhancing Your Self Esteem

Dele is an SS 2 student. He arrives at school on Tuesday morning and his soccer team-makes blame him for losing yesterday’s match, because he missed several scoring chances. At that moment, a teacher appears and “nails” him for using vulgar language on the school premises.

Ogechi, also an SS2 student, has been nominated as the Head Girl in her school. She runs home after school and tells her mother about this development. Her mother says she can’t listen to her at the moment because she is listening to the news.

Cases like these, often reduces one’s self-esteem. You feel dejected when someone accuses you wrongly or ignores you at a time you need their encouragement. Self-esteem is the judgment you make or the feeling you have about yourself. It could be high or low and is forever changing, and is a result of accumulation of events. An individual with high self- esteem recognises his or her own strength and skills, improves them and can accept successes and achievements. Such an individual relates easily with others and feels secure in social relationships. An individual with low self-esteem on the other hand, is somewhat “anti- social”, not confident and sees challenges as problems too much to cope with. An individual with high self-esteem recognises his or her own strength and skills, improves them and can accept successes and achievements. Such an individual relates easily with others and feels secure in social relationships. An individual with low self-esteem on the other hand, is somewhat “anti-social”, inconfident and sees challenges as problems too much to cope with. An individual might have low self-esteem, if he or she is constantly ignored, laughed at, disliked by peers or is shy and has trouble with intimacy. What ever the level of your self esteem, it still needs to be improved. Some ways of improving your self-esteem include:

Create a menu of self-esteem goals: Individuals with high self-esteem are goal-oriented and motivated by what they want to accomplish. Creating a menu of self- esteem goals, helps you recognise past accomplishments, identify your skills, strengths and shortcomings and makes you feel responsible. However, make sure your goals are realistic and can be achieved.

Create a self-esteem action plan: To achieve your goals, you have to be able to identify the steps needed to achieve them, possible setbacks and the resources you’ll need.

Believe in yourself: Many successful people are where they are today, because of the confidence they have in their abilities. Talking and thinking positively about yourself helps to achieve your goals faster.

Make special friends: Having special or best friend(s), helps to build your self- esteem. You’ll feel appreciated, loved and accepted. You could make a list of the qualities you want in your special friend, as this would guide you in making your choices.

Be socially responsible: This means being considerate. Look beyond yourself and reach out to others who are not as lucky as you. Giving to others, makes you feel good about yourself and enhances your self-esteem.

Identify your successes: Knowing that you have achieved your goal, greatly enhances your self-esteem. However, your successes might not be as you envisaged them. Learn to view your “failures” positively.self-esteem

Facing the challenges of Adolescence

Facing the Challenges of Adolescence

Adolescence is a turbulent period for most people. Understandably so – you are saddled with decisions about career, lifestyle and sex. As a male child, it is even more difficult – you also have to make decisions about drugs, alcohol, family etc. You are under a lot of pressure to live up to society’s definition of ‘a man’. Planning life directions can be especially difficult if you are ill-equipped on how to deal with situations that you face.

In order to enjoy a crisis-free adolescence and emerge a responsible adult, it is paramount that you possess skills such as decision-making, assertiveness and goal-setting skills. You also need to be able to take charge of your life. The following tips will help you to do just that:

Know your values
Your values are what you believe in, what you think is right or wrong, and what is most important to you. Decisions that you’ll make will be based on your values. You draw your values from a variety of sources, such as parents, family friends, religion, etc. However, do not ‘borrow’ other people’s values – let your values be yours.

Draw up a plan for your life
Many successful people set targets for themselves and are goal-oriented. Have a plan of what you want and how to go about getting it. Never wait till you get to the bridge before looking for ways to cross it – decide ahead what you want achieved by the time you are 20, 35, 50 etc.

Develop yourself
Your goals will remain dreams unless you develop yourself. Read books on diverse topics; gather facts about successful people and how they dealt with the difficult situation they faced. In short, broaden your horizon.

Have a role model
A role model is someone that you admire and respect; someone you look up to and want to be like. Choose a role model and deal with problems they way your role model would if he/she were faced with your problem. However, it is not advisable that you choose a TV star as your role model, because real-life is not usually as depicted in movies.

Make decisions
Decisions about career, sex, drugs and alcohol are usually some of the toughest decisions you will have to make as an adolescent. Before you make decisions, get facts about each choice, think properly about them, i.e. weigh the pros and cons; and discuss available options with your parents, a trusted friend or adult.

Be assertive
Being assertive means expressing your views about an issue without hurting the other person’s feelings. Behaviours that enhance assertiveness include honesty, speaking for yourself, communicating your feelings as they come up, instead of waiting; and being direct, i.e. use the “I” word. Communicate your feelings and don’t be cajoled into doing things contrary to your values. However, don’t be aggressive – aggressive behaviour shows a lack of concern for the other person’s feelings.

Learn a skill
The feeling that you have a skill is a positive one. There are various skills that you can learn – computer skills, teaching skills, writing skills, drawing skills or acting skills. These skills could in turn fetch you some money and give you some measure of independence. However, you must be ready to meet and overcome disappointments. You must be prepared to work as hard and as long as the situation demands.

Take advantage of holiday periods
Holiday periods are not meant only for fun and play – they are also a time to do something different from the routine school work. Holiday periods can be spent learning poetry, bookkeeping, car maintenance, interior decorating, etc; or acquiring knowledge about issues that range from wildlife and nature to politics and government. These you could do and still have fun.

Believe in yourself
Above all, believe in yourself. Many successful people are where they are today, because of the confidence they have in their abilities. Talking and thinking positively about yourself helps to achieve your goals faster. Believe you can rise above every difficult situation and make a success of them. Do not let negative comment from people set you back. Growing up is all about making decisions – some good, some bad. However, do not let bad decisions discourage you. A popular song sums it up: “there’s a hero if you look inside your heart.

Screen with claws

Screen with Claws? Really I have no idea what that means but this is what came to my mind when I took my pen. We wish to wear high brands,but feel most comfortable in pyjamas. We wish to sit in expensive places with elite poeple,but enjoy roadside vendor food with friends…we have 64gb Ipods filled with songs but sometimes a song on a radio brings beautiful smiles. That’s the Irony of life….but what do u call this? Airports have seen more affectionate kisses than wedding halls, the walls of hospitals have heard more sincere prayers than the walls of temples and churches….Pizza….always confuses us..it comes in a square box, when u open it,its round and when u start eating it, its triangle…The Irony of What? Life? For me life and people are also like the pizza, look different, appear different, and behave absolutely different.

Change doesn’t start with Gen. Buhari.

Now that Gen. Buhari Muhammed has been declared the new president of Nigeria 2015_2019, he has vouched that “change. Has come and a new day and a new Nigeria is upon us, but let us take a re-think about the changes we as Nigerians want for the country. Do you think that Nigeria will just change like that in a twinkle of an eye? This our new president is not a miracle worker, have you ever thought that change starts with you? If only we do our part by not taking that bribe, stop eye service because you want a raise in your allowance,stop littering the streets, stop beating the traffic, how about having the required papers and a valid drivers license just to avoid embarrassment from the VIOs, avoid drinking and driving, all of these little rules if only we begin to abide by them thing will begin to turn around for our own good. Let us be law abiding and peaceful.

The magic of thinking BIG!

Believe you can succeed and you will.
Build confidence and destroy fear.
You are what you think you are so always think and dream creatively.
Always remind yourself that you are better than what you think you are
Take the initiative in building good friendship; you do not want to be a loner now do you?
Accept human differences and limitations.
Don’t blame others when you receive a setback.
Don’t waste time and energy being discouraged, plan to win next time.
Give spiritual strength to others and they will give you genuine affection.
Get a clear fix on where you want to go.
Achieve your goal one at a time regards each step you perform regardless of how small it may seem as a step toward your goal
Finally, invest in yourself.
Think big today and touch a life.


5 ways to keep a healthy body

Every New Year and month people analyze their lives and make new resolutions. And they start out very well, but somehow as days go by they soon abandon their resolutions and slip into their old ways. One of the most common resolution is to be healthier, exercise more, eat better and keep fit or lose weight. Well here are some tips to improve your health. It’s going to be easier than you thought.
1. DRINK MORE WATER: your body needs water; you need water to keep your body balanced. Some headaches, sore muscles, joint pains, digestive problems, dry and flaky skins etc. are caused by dehydration. So drink some water. Don’t wait until you feel thirsty. Keep your day hydrated all day.
2. GO TO SLEEP: sleep regulates the release of hormones, it slows the aging process, it boosts immunity, improves brain function and helps reduce stress hormones. So, it’s quite amazing when people skimp out on a good sleep daily.
3. MOVE MORE: so what if you don’t have a gym membership, don’t let that be an excuse. Start where you are and build up. Try moving more, walk more, commit yourself to a 10 minutes of exclusive exercise each morning. 10 mins is not too much to give yourself, its just 0.7% of your day. Get a workout DVD, a personal trainer or just go online.
4. MAKE ONE MEAL A DAY COMPLETELY NATURAL: you are required to eat three square meals a day, make one of those meals completely natural. By that I mean fruits and vegetables nothing cooked, nothing processed or artificial, just lovely fruits and vegetables. They provide you with more nutrients than the majority of foods we eat daily.
5. LAUGH MORE: Laughing not only reduce your stress hormones it also provides you with a good abdominal workout, that is why when you laugh really hard sometimes your abs hurt. So laugh more and stress less.
And with that I conclude my tips for you. It’s so simple right? Try and stick with it and take it one day at a time.
Live healthy. Live happy.

healthy body

Help I’m stuck in a rut!

Have you ever found yourself living a life of routine? You basically do the same thing every day. Wake up at the same time, do the same morning routine eat the same breakfast, same thing at work, hang out with same friends and go to the same places. After a while you lose all desire to change things up and even try to spice things up. This was the story of my life. My days became predictable and boring but I had a solid routine for each day that it would seem crazy to break it, if my life were turned into a reality show my audience would be bored to tears. But is there a down side to living this kind of life? Well. I’m going to let you decide. I’ve put together a little pros and cons list of living a routine life.
 You become organized. You have everything planned out, and you have worked with the plan for so long that you become a master.
 You become comfortable. Living a life of routine offers you the comfort of consistency.
 Doing same thing every day gets boring. You begin to just sail through life. You live out the script you’ve written every day and it gets old.
 You kill your creativity. Creativity is led by experience. The interactions we experience, the things we see, the news we hear, creativity is fueled by our life experience and our interpretation of the experience. With a routine life your experiences are usually the same
 You miss out on living your best life, life should be an adventure. You should explore new things and live with excitement eat new foods travel to new places try a new hairstyle, surprise you spouse with a new thrilling adventure etc
 You miss out opportunities, grabbing opportunities usually involves stepping out of your zone and trying something new or something old in a new way.
 You loose touch of reality. Living a one dimensional life can play tricks on your mind with time. You begin to think differently because you are confined to the walls you have built up around your life.
All im saying is live your life to the fullest , do something insanely crazy. Use every potential that each day offers. Do not allow your routine become a cage that keeps you from living Gods best for you.

I never talked about it

Hey guys, I’m back with my second edition of my story this goes to all the parents all around the world…

…..wait this is also for everyone, we will all become parents one day won’t we?

Growing up was silent and painful for me, I hated times when we were on holidays, we had no one to keep my junior sister and I company while everyone left for work. We were left alone under the care of a family friend who lived with us for over four years starting from when I was 8years old, and all through those years he had sex with me every day (all those days when no one was at home) it was always painful and became a routine and the worse part of it this was that I couldn’t tell anyone this. my mum was strict and never told us anything about our sexual health or sex education. I didn’t even know what sex was or what the sex organs were called I could only tell that what was happening to me at that time were the worse days of my life. I really wished someone had told me what sex was then, I would have at least known what to do but I was totally blank ignorant.

I became silent about almost everything in my life, I never talked to anyone about any issues the experience I had, I hated anything that had to do with sex (till date), and I never wanted to go hang out with anyone or interact with anyone and worse of all I hated men.

And then of course I grew up  feeling inferior and looked at myself and wondered if I was going to face this trauma for the rest of my life, I always kept to myself no matter how hard they tried to persuade me to let out my feelings, and that was why a lot of things went wrong while I was growing because there was no one to put me through and all the same I learnt about my sexual reproductive health from the wrong source and got the wrong ideas.

Parents are you watching your children? Do you trust the people you hand your children to? Or do you leave them at home alone or with the house keeper help? Do you give them the right information they need? Or leave them blank just like my mother did?

If you are a parent you need to watch your child very closely, notice any change in him or her, talk to him or her very often find out what is going on in their lives don’t just leave them in the hands of someone else.

Raising your child is your responsibility, no one can do it better than you and if so it will be done the wrong way.


Why the breast is important to men!

As a mother or a mother to be your breast milk is important to your child girl or boy.
now these are ways we can keep our breast-milk clean and and make it nutritious for them.baby-breastfeeding

Breastfeeding protects babies

Early breast milk – Known as liquid gold, colostrum (coh-LOSS-trum) is the yellow thick first milk from the breast that babies suck just after birth, produced during pregnancy. This milk is very rich in nutrients and antibodies to protect your baby. Although your baby only gets a small amount of colostrum at each feeding, it matches the amount his or her tiny stomach can hold. (Visit How to know your baby is getting enough milk to see just how small your newborn’s tummy is!)

Breast milk fights disease – The cells, hormones, and antibodies in breast milk protect babies from illness. This protection is unique; baby formula’s cannot match the chemical makeup of human breast milk. In fact, among formula-fed babies, ear infections and diarrhea are more common. Formula-fed babies also have higher risks of:

Necrotizing (nek-roh-TEYE-zi): Flesh eating bacteria
enterocolitis (en-TUR-oh-coh-lyt-iss), a disease that affects the gastrointestinaltract in preterm infants.
Lower respiratory infections
Type 2 diabetes: when the body does not produce insulin

Mothers benefit from breastfeeding

Life can be easier when you breastfeed – Breastfeeding may take a little more effort than formula feeding at first. But it can make life easier once you and your baby settle into a good routine. Plus, when you breastfeed, there are no bottles and nipples to sterilize. You do not have to buy, measure, and mix formula. And there are no bottles to warm in the middle of the night! You can satisfy your baby’s hunger right away when breastfeeding.
Breastfeeding can feel great – Physical contact is important to newborns. It can help them feel more secure, warm, and comforted. Mothers can benefit from this closeness, as well. Breastfeeding requires a mother to take some quiet relaxed time to bond. The skin-to-skin contact can boost the mother’s oxytocin (OKS-ee-TOH-suhn) levels. Oxytocin is a hormone that helps milk flow and can calm the mother. It also creates a bond between the mother and the baby.
Breastfeeding can be good for the mother’s health, too – Breastfeeding is linked to a lower risk of these health problems in women:
Type 2 diabetes
Breast cancer: cancer of the breast
Ovarian cancer: cancer of the ovaries

Breastfeeding during an emergency

When an emergency occurs, breastfeeding can save lives:

Breastfeeding protects babies from the risks of a contaminated water supply.
Breastfeeding can help protect against respiratory illnesses and diarrhea. These diseases can be fatal in populations displaced by disaster.
Breast milk is the right temperature for babies and helps to prevent hypothermia (when the body temperature drops too low).
Breast milk is readily available without needing other supplies.

Do you know that Men have breast cancer ?!?

OK i know this sounded a little awkward but this is for women,
sometimes we have lumps which and we don’t know which is why we need to always check our breast so we are sure that we are breast cancer free and here are simple steps we can take to prevent cancer.

Step 1

Begin by looking at your breasts in the mirror with your shoulders straight and your arms on your hips.

Here’s what you should look for:

Breasts that are their usual size, shape, and color.
Breasts that are evenly shaped without visible distortion or swelling.

If you see any of the following changes, bring it to your doctor’s attention:

Dimpling, puckering, or bulging of the skin.
A nipple that has changed position or an inverted nipple (pushed inward instead of sticking out).
Redness, soreness, rash, or swelling.


Raise your arms and look for the same changes

Step 3

Feel your breasts while lying down, using your right hand to feel your left breast and then your left hand to feel your right breast. Use a firm, smooth touch with the first few fingers of your hand, keeping the fingers flat and together.

Cover the entire breast from top to bottom, side to side—from your collarbone to the top of your abdomen, and from your armpit to your cleavage.

Step 4

Finally, feel your breasts while you are standing or sitting. Many women find that the easiest way to feel their breasts is when their skin is wet and slippery, so they like to do this step in the shower. Cover your entire breast, using the same hand movements described in Step 4.

Next, feel your breasts while lying down, using your right hand to feel your left breast and then your left hand to feel your right breast. Use a firm, smooth touch with the first few finger pads of your hand, keeping the fingers flat and together. Use a circular motion, about the size of a quarter.

Cover the entire breast from top to bottom, side to side — from your collarbone to the top of your abdomen, and from your armpit to your cleavage.

Follow a pattern to be sure that you cover the whole breast. You can begin at the nipple, moving in larger and larger circles until you reach the outer edge of the breast. You can also move your fingers up and down vertically, in rows, as if you were mowing a lawn. This up-and-down approach seems to work best for most women. Be sure to feel all the tissue from the front to the back of your breasts: for the skin and tissue just beneath, use light pressure; use medium pressure for tissue in the middle of your breasts; use firm pressure for the deep tissue in the back. When you’ve reached the deep tissue, you should be able to feel down to your ribcage.

Hey ya’ll,

I’m sure most of us on twitter have heard about @debbified also known as Osarere Idiagbonya. For those who haven’t heard about her, she was diagnosed with breast cancer at a young age of 27 So my beautiful, sexy, traffic stopping ladies, it is important to do a breast self-examination. If you notice anything unusual about your breasts, PLEASE get to a hospital fast! Remember that cancer has no cure yet, but it can be prevented.

Do this examination every month and ensure that you’re living a cancer -free life.